RUSSIAN BELIEVERS ADOPTING RUSSIAN CHILDREN, PART 2

Susan Hills shares....
All of our 10 kids, as well as many of our dear friends who have adopted, feel that they have two pastors...their American pastor here at home, and their Russian pastor Misha from St. Petersburg, Russia, along with his dear wife Galya.  A number of you probably read our earller post about one of Misha and Galya's precious adopted children, Igor.  For nearly a decade, about once a year either some of us from Atlanta go there to Russia, or Misha and Galya come here to visit.  What is it that has created such deeply interwoven bonds?  It is this Spirit of adoption, that the Lord seems to be pouring out all over the world.  It is so exciting to learn that it seems to look similar wherever we turn.  Here is a peek inside their story in Russia, from the perspectives of Galya the mom, and one of their other daughters, Irochka. 

Our dear friends, Pastor Misha and his
wife, Galya.

A great deal of grief burdened his soul

Mama Galya remembers... 
When we took Igor in, he was 10 years old. There was a lot to learn. Igor's character was good, tender-hearted, and compassionate. He drew very well and could make original constructions with building sets. Today he plays guitar, studies at a music school, and performs on the guitar in concerts and competitions. He sings beautifully in the church choir. He arrived from the orphanage very reserved and antisocial. A great deal of grief burdened his soul. But today you can't see that: he is cheerful, loving, and thoughtful, and he looks like his adoptive father. His good friends adore him. And he is the very best friend and brother to his younger brother Dannik. 

Ira

They dream about love and a family

Irochka remembers...
Some people think that if they take a child from an orphange, their own children will stop loving them because they will be jealous of the adopted child. I don't think so! Even though I live in a big family, Mama and Papa give each one of us special attention. Every day my parents give me, my brothers, and my sisters their sincere, pure love. Love that every child dreams about - all the children who are now in the orphanages dream about love and a family that will help them in difficult times, give them warmth, and comfort them. With one word a child can be given great happiness. I remember how my family went to the orphanage for the first time and saw the scene there. I looked at the children and saw their eyes and faces. They were totally empty, and that emptiness could only be filled by love and a family. They all wanted to be in a family, and I was so sorry for them! When we went home, we all talked about our impressions of the orphanage. We all began to tell our parents who we liked, and one day our mom and dad asked us if we wanted to bring a child from the orphanage into our family. We all immediately agreed with our parents, though they asked us several times. Now I just can't imagine our family without our adoptive brother and sister. I really want to envision Russia without orphanages.

RUSSIAN BELIEVERS ADOPTING RUSSIAN CHILDREN

At about the time we adopted our first two Russian children Anya and Alex, a special report appeared in Newsweek showing a picture of a very pregnant-looking Russian woman. The article explained the photo was a feigned pregnancy: since adoption was culturally unacceptable in Russia, infertile women often placed increasingly larger pillows under their 'maternity' clothing until the baby was born that would be 'theirs' through a clandestine adoption. So disturbing was this to me that I began to pray that many Russian believers would begin to adopt and care for children in the orphanages, so obviously overflowing with kids in need of loving families. Over the past decade many of our friends have adopted precious children, and we have seen the Lord do 'exceedingly abundantly above and beyond all we could ask or imagine (Eph 3:20)' to answer that prayer.

The Kozitsky Family

Over the next several posts you will read stories written by our dear friends, Pastor Misha and his wife Galya, and both their adopted and biologic children. Here is the first translated post, written originally in Russian by their son Igor, who lives with his dear family on the outskirts of St. Petersburg, Russia; he is now age 14.

Igor Kozitsky

"I do not know how I would live without my family. For me, family is a place
where people love you or want to help you. I like living with a family better than living in an orphanage. At an orphanage they don't give you the time that a family does, and you can't do what you can do in a family. When I was at the orphanage, I dreamed about a family and even prayed to God even though I didn't know if He existed or not. I prayed that I would have a big family and a big home. And the Lord heard my prayer and gave me everything I dreamed of. I remember when we went to bed with our group we would all talk about our dreams. Living in a family is much better for me.

A Biological Child's Perspective on Adoption: Emma

We wanted to share some of the stories of adoption from the point of view of the children, both biological and adopted. It has been fascinating and faith-building to hear them tell their own stories of life from their perspective. The third in this series is from our eldest, Emma, who is a lovely and amazing young woman soon to graduate from college.




Emma's Story
I could not wait to travel to Russia

Emma, Rachel and Julia
before adoptions

When my parents first talked to my sisters and me about adopting, it came out of nowhere. As a 12 year old I had never even thought about adoption, positively or negatively, in my entire life. But as soon as I took a moment to consider the possibility, I was ecstatic about opening our family to two new members. I also could not wait to travel to Russia and learn the language and culture. Of course there were many cultural differences; I remember ordering spaghetti with marinara sauce at a restaurant and getting a plate of pasta with a gravy boat full of ketchup next to it. 

Andrei, Emma and Sergei in the
children's home

The driver asked if we could pick up a little boy                                                               One of my favorite memories of going to Russia for the first time was meeting my future brothers, Andrei and Sergei. On our way to the orphanage to meet Kristina and Pasha, our driver asked if we could stop at a foster home to pick up a little boy who was being sent to the orphanage to be with his older brother. Though we were distraught at the idea of taking two children away from the orphanage only to bring another, we of course said yes. This little boy was my brother Sergei. When we arrived and were ushered into a small room with tea and cookies, Andrei was already there, waiting to see his brother. As soon as they laid eyes on each other, I could feel the joy and relief they felt. For the remainder of our visit, they did not stop hugging or smiling.

And then they were 5

Retaining some stability was important to me                                                                        Once we all returned home, I started to get to know my new siblings better. Pasha and I watched The Lion King together over and over, always returning to the stampede, his favorite scene. He would sprint around our house on all fours like a lion until he broke his leg after falling off his bike. Then he just ran around on three legs, with his broken cast lifted in the air. Kristina and I shared a room and bonded over her incredibly loud and annoying gerbil named Mary. No matter how many times she woke us up scratching at her cage during the night, Mary remained a permanent fixture in our room. Of course there were hard times, but within weeks I couldn't imagine sitting around our kitchen table for dinner without Kristina and Pasha, and eventually Andrei and Sergei as well. I found it very easy to adjust to my new life; I was and still am the oldest child, and my only concern about adoption was that I would have to give that up. I'm sure I would've grown to love an older sibling as well, but retaining some stability (and the ability to boss people around) was important to me.

Emma and our friend Nicole with
some new Russian
friends.

Seeing the world from a different perspective

Our group in Russia,
2006

Through our adoption, I have grown so much spiritually and intellectually. I am a Political Science major at college now, focusing on international politics, and growing up aware and involved in the world outside my bubble played a huge part in that decision. I think I have become a much more well-rounded and aware person because of traveling to Russia, meeting and getting know people I never would have known, and seeing the world from completely different perspectives than my own.

Emma (standing) with others from
our team ministering in the
orphanage.

 The Amazing Love of Christ
However, seeing the transformation of our kids prompted even greater spiritual growth inside of me. A picture is worth a thousand words as the old cliche says, and one of the most moving pictures I have ever seen is my sister Kristina's first passport picture.

Our Kristina's passport
photo

 She and my parents went to some sort of embassy in Moscow to obtain her Russian passport so she could travel to the US with us and become a part of our family. That picture shows a girl with haunted, empty eyes and a blank expression. She looks so lost and hollow. But through the love of my parents, my siblings, and most of all the Lord she came to know so well, Kristina's smile has become one of the largest and brightest I have ever seen. She laughs with her entire body, and her eyes sparkle with the knowledge that Jesus loves her and has adopted her into his family forever. Her transformation is the clearest picture of the amazing love of Christ I have ever seen, and I am so happy to have been there to see it happen.

Kristina's senior portrait

An Adopted Son's Perspective on Adoption: Sergei (Part 1)

We wanted to share some of the stories of adoption from the point of view of the children, both biological and adopted. It has been fascinating and faith-building to hear them tell their own stories of life from their perspective. The second in this series is from our son Sergei, who is now an amazing 16 year old young man.

Sergei's Story, Part I

We were left to "fend for ourselves"

I don’t remember a lot from my life in Russia, mainly because I have blocked those memories out of my mind. My brother Andrei and I were left to “fend for ourselves” from a young age. Many times Andrei and I would steal our dinner from stores, or steal people’s money. Andrei was basically my parent, always cleaning me up if I got hurt.


Eventually, the government came to our little apartment and talked to my parents. I don’t know what they said, but I got a good idea of what it was when they took Andrei and me away. Andrei was put in an orphanage and I was taken to an orphanage for younger children. I remember being happy in this place. I was given food, without having to go out and steal it. The workers were nice too.

As I look back I can see God's hand

I was later put in a foster family. These people were nice and caring for a while, and I thought that I could be happy here. As time went on, they became meaner, and stopped caring about me. That’s when my grandmother came and talked to me. She told me that I had two choices. I could either stay with the foster family, or go to the orphanage so that Andrei and I could be together. As I look back on this, I can see God’s hand in this. He knew what was best for me. Even though the orphanage was terrible, God was working everything together for my good.

I was happy to be with my brother

When I arrived at the orphanage, I was happy to be with my big brother. He always looked out for me. The workers at the orphanage were not nice at all. They didn’t care about anyone there. I often got in fights, or was left hungry from the small portions at meals. I was just happy to be with my brother.

I would lie awake the whole night

My grandmother was the main source of happiness in my life at this point. She rode the bus down to the orphanage, picked Andrei and me up, and took us to her apartment. She would bathe us and feed us. I was never hungry at her house. We would spend a day or two with her, then we had to go back to the orphanage. She would always give us bags of candy and food to take with us. Going to sleep at the orphanage was always hard. I had no idea what wouldhappen to me. The older kids were always playing horrible jokes on the younger kids. I was always afraid at night. I would lay awake the whole night. I hated it here. One day someone told me that I was going to get adopted. I didn’t really know what it meant, but I knew that it was a good thing

Stay tuned for part II of Sergei's story! Feel free to leave him a comment--he'd be happy to respond.

What is my child's identity in Christ? An Adoptive Father's Perspective

From: Stephen Templeton

Who is your child in Christ?

What is your child’s identity in Christ?

Who has God called your child to be?

What is the call of God on your child’s life?

When God looks at your sons and daughters, who does he see?

What potential is there in them?

What has the Lord revealed to you about their hearts, their gifts, their destiny in Christ?

Wow! These are pretty big and heady questions that can be quite intimidating for us dads (and moms). Can I really know the answers to some of these foundational questions about my child? Would God really reveal to me who my child is, how He sees my child, what His plan, destiny and desire is for my child?

The answer, of course, is a resounding YES!

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

The Lord has placed the mantle of “father” and “mother” on each of us parents. When He called us to have children, through adoption or birth, he placed that awesome authority on our lives to guide, inspire, love and instruct our children. One of the foundational aspects of this calling is seeking Him for our child’s identity in Christ and then using this understanding and revelation from the Father to guide our parenting of each individual child.

Ephesians 1:18-19

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.

In view of this mantle of authority God has placed on us for our children, it is clear that He is so eager to have our eyes opened and enlightened, to know our children and the hope to which He has called each one. This identity and inheritance is something that the Lord wants to share with us so that we can help our children grasp, understand and renew their minds according to their identity in Him.

How do we know our child’s identity in Christ?-- First and foremost- go to Him, seek Him, spend time in prayer actively asking the Lord to show you how He sees your child. He will be faithful to share His heart for your child with you. If you have Christian friends, a youth pastor, Sunday School teacher, or a pastor that you trust, ask them what they see in your child. Share with them that you are asking the Lord to reveal to you a greater understanding of your child’s identity in Christ. And then ask for their input. Write all these things down, especially any specific words of knowledge, or reliable prophetic words received from trustworthy people. Keep a record of these- they are invaluable and can act as spiritual weapons for you and your child as they grow. But remember, God Himself has given you the spiritual authority to parent your child, so test any input you receive from others according to the scriptures and what the Lord is saying to you.

Go to Him- I can’t wait to hear what He will tell you about each of your children!

Next time we’ll talk about how this knowledge of your child’s identity in Christ helps guide your parenting.

From Susan Hillis: "FAITHFUL IN LITTLE"

"One who is faithful in little is also faithful in much." Luke 16:10

"In everything... let your requests be made known to God." Phil 4:6

It was 14 years ago when we adopted our first two beautiful Russian children, Alex and Anya, then 7 and 8. Back then when asked, 'how many children do you want to have?' I always jokingly replied '12 disciples.' Well, I came close, as Brian and I were eventually entrusted with 'the Eleven.'
Little by little over these posts the story will emerge, but for now let me pass along a beautiful encouragement....the Lord has been so minutely and infinitely faithful in caring for 'the Eleven,' and He has freed me by revealing that my job is to be a vessel of His love and to pray. I have journaled over the years; here is a recent excerpt...

We so want to be those who carry Your Name, Lord Jesus, on our lips. More than any other names. More than Chick Filet or MacDonalds or church or American Idol or Gucci or Bill Hybles or Beth Moore or Carrie Underwood or Chris Tomlin or Japan or Libya or Egypt or our husbands or our children or our fears or our grief or our brokenness or our plans. To carry Your Name I must experience Your help in those daily little things that seem impossible. Like some days, even, getting out of bed or having any joy. "You have not because you ask not." James 4:2. Thank you for the little lessons this week in asking for little things and seeing Your great faithfulness in the little. Like the signature I had needed for 2 months and only asked You for 2 days ago; you provided it. Or the insurance long sought and only asked for 3 days ago; You provided it. Like the softening of my daughter's heart towards me and You needed for months, which began to surface 2 days ago. Teach me once again to be faithful in asking your help for the little and to stand in awe of Your great faithfulness in supplying. "In the abundance of Your steadfast love, answer Me in Your saving faithfulness (Ps 69:13)."

A Biological Child's Perspetcive on Adoption: Julia (Part 2)

Julia's Story, Part 2

Here is the second part of Julia's Story. Read Part 1 HERE. So beautiful to hear what God does in the hearts of those involved in adoption!

Little did we know....

Andrei and Sergei reunited in the
orphanage.

When we were in that room, the director also brought in two brothers who had just been reunited in the orphanage. They were so happy to see each other and were hugging and holding each other. She introduced them as Andrei and Sergei. Little did we know at that time that they too would join our family just 18 months later! After our visit to the orphanage we had to go to court to legally adopt. I was too young to actually attend so my sisters and I waited in the car while my mom and dad and Kristina and Pasha went in. I remember sitting there playing on a game boy and talking to my sisters and grandparents, totally oblivious of the significant event going on inside that court building. After we went to court and had legally adopted, we flew to Moscow. I remember that first night we went to the pool in the hotel and had a wonderful time; everything was so new and exciting at that point. Finally it was time to go home. After the long flights and layovers and countless hours of being awake we finally reached home. We showed Kristina and Pasha their rooms, all made up with toys and signs and pictures from people that already loved them, even though they had never met.   

Things were pretty good, however...

The new siblings in the hotel pool in
Moscow after the first adoption.

The first couple weeks after we adopted were full of emotions for me. Kristina and I had already become best friends, playing with dolls and speaking in a combination of broken Russian and broken English. We really hit it off and I finally had someone who enjoyed dolls as much as I did. We all took family outings and did things together. I learned to communicate in some form of Russian, and they were steadily learning more and more English. Things were pretty good, however not all the time. I remember some times crying and thinking that my life wouldn’t be the same. I remember thinking that my parents wouldn’t love me as much now that they were giving all of their attention to my new siblings. There were times when I was completely happy with my situation, having more people to play with and new family, but there were also times that I was sad and felt like I wasn’t important. Those first couple of months were full of wonderful and tough times and emotions, but eventually all of those emotions steadied into happiness and acceptance.

                                                                          

I can't imagine my family any different way

Julia and Kristina became best buddies.

Now, looking back, I can’t really remember what it was like without my adopted siblings. I don’t think I would want to go back to that time because I can’t imagine my family any different way. To me, my sister and brothers from Russia are my siblings, sure they were adopted and weren’t always a part of our family, but now they are. I sometimes forget that they were adopted and that my life used to be so different. I think that I was at a perfect age to accept and move into my new family. Today I see my siblings as truly part of the family and I can’t imagine my life without them. We truly are one big family, no division and no differences, just one family.     

Arriving home in Atlanta--exhausted but happy!

I grew to know God as a wonderful, loving Father

My family life was not the only thing changed by the adoption, but my spiritual life and relationship with Christ evolved too. I was only eight when we first adopted, so at that point I had already accepted the Lord as my Savior and had given him my life. But I didn’t have a relationship with him, or at least not like I do now. While the adoption didn’t magically change my relationship with God or make God closer, it did give me a better understanding of him and his love for us. I grew to know God as a wonderful loving father who not only gives us his love but he adopts us into his family and gives us his inheritance, just as my family adopted our earthly family members. The adoption definitely helped me nurture and develop a lasting relationship with God that would continue to grow in understanding and love as I got older. My growth and closeness to my heavenly father has definitely been affected by our adoption and the impact it had on my family and those around us.