EMMANUEL-- GOD WITH ME

We are pleased to hear from our friend Jessica. She has 2 kids 5 and under who spend their days dressing up animals, throwing dance parties, and building caves. My (very good looking) husband keeps me grounded and present while I rearrange the house multiple times a year. I spend the majority of my days running Noonday Collection, a business born out of this adoption process that creates sustainable income opportunities for vulnerable populations and hopefully prevents some of the root causes of the orphan crisis. Through Noonday Collection, I get to help women feel beautiful every day and enable families to raise some money for their adoption process. It is a dream so amazing I could have never thought it up myself.

"You are NOT allowed to take him"

One year ago, I found my then 2-year-old son floating face down in the middle of a large swimming pool. I scooped up his lifeless body. His face was blue, lips purple, and there were no signs of breathing. He was dead. As I began CPR on him, I just kept yelling out, “In the name of Jesus, in the name of Jesus,” while inside crying out “You are not allowed to take him."  After a few minutes, he began to cough and was back to his normal joyful self within the hour.

I had thought about that moment so often: Would I turn from Jesus or to Him in the face of a severe tragedy?  I experienced both on that hot summer day. On one hand, crying out to the only One who could save Him while also withholding my heart from the only One who could take him.

"I Can Rescue Your Next Son."

One month later, we were in the very final stages of finishing our dossier to adopt a child from Rwanda. We received a phone call from our power of attorney saying Rwanda was closing its doors to any new dossiers within 24  hours. The likelihood of us being able to get all the final signatures, fly to Washington DC to get the documents authenticated, and then finally submitted to the Rwandan embassy seemed impossible. But I heard that still, small voice say, “I rescued your first son and I can rescue your next son.”

Every Step of the Way, There was God!

Jessica at the Rwandan Embassy

Within a few hours, I was on a plane to Washington DC where an old friend from my Food for the Hungry days picked me up at 12am. She lived 10 minutes from the airport. The next morning on the subway, a girl standing next to me heard me saying, “I am nervous because I don’t know where this place is.” 
“Excuse me,” she said, “I work there and can walk you to the office.” 
Every step of the way, there was God; with me and for me.

I spent some time after these two “close calls” praying and asking God to show me Himself in those times. I learned that God’s faithfulness to me is not dependent upon my emotional response to Him. Anger,threats, even turning away from Him does not turn Him away from me. He has promised to be with me always. Emmanuel. That revelation has enabled a new grace to steer my faith and triumph over my fears.

I Rest in His Word

There have been times during this wait when I cry myself to sleep because I long to feel his head against mine. There have been times when I felt jealous that other parents seemed to get their kids before us. And there have been many times where I wondered if it would actually happen at all. All of these experiences lead me to exercise faith like never before. I always go back to the last place that God spoke and rest in His word. If you are also a waiting parent, I hope these words from Exodus encourage you like they have me during these last 2 years, 

“The Lord will fight for you. You need only be still.” (Exodus 14:14) 

Rest in Him while he fights for your child. 

In a couple of months, we will fly to Rwanda to meet our son. A 2 year old who has only known the walls of an orphanage. God’s promise of being with me through this new parenting process is what now guides my hope.


"Teaching them to observe everything that I have commanded you, and behold, I am with you all the days (perpetually, uniformly, and on every occasion) to the very close and consummation of the age. Amen (so let it be.)"

You can follow Jessica's journey, among other things, here. 

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