HOPE AT HOME 2013, SPECIAL GUEST SPEAKERS

from Beth:

We have a very special guest who has committed to join us for this year's Hope at Home gathering. We've been in communication with him all year, and even enjoyed some face-to-face meetings with him and our team. We are so excited! You are not going to want to miss this! His heart for adoptive, foster and waiting mothers and fathers is the driving force behind all that we do at Hope at Home. We've heard what he has to say about us parents and our families--his words never fail to direct, strengthen, encourage and help parents in their adoption and fostering stories. He's asked us if it is alright if He brings his son along, as well as his friend, who is well-known all over the world for his work amongst believers. That was an easy decision for our team-- YES! 
These guys are a amazing together. It has been inspiring for our Hope at Home team to watch how they work together as a unit. There is such a refreshing and powerful oneness in all that they do. 

So let me tell you a bit about our main speaker's friend first. As the planners of the event, we love that he comes ahead of time to prepare the way and then stays afterwards to finish the work he started. He's been known to actually come into your home and work alongside you as you parent your children. His help and wisdom is priceless. There have been times where he has contacted us about a matter regarding our adoptions or parenting, and he has always been spot-on! If you haven't already met him at other events, you are going to love him! 

And the son... oh my! Seriously, we've never met a kinder person. He is so generous. So gracious. If you needed a shirt, he'd give you the one on his back. He wouldn't hesitate to lay down his life for a friend. It's strange to say, but in our experience he seems to always have the right solution to our parenting concerns, and whenever he speaks it's like this unexplainable peace comes over those who listen. He's never arrogant about it, as some speakers might be, but he really does seem to have the answer to everything; it's like he IS the answer.

And then there's the dad, our main speaker... well, like I said, you seriously do not want to miss this. When he's come to other events we've been to he seems to be so happy; we've heard it said of him that he is always in a good mood. And it blesses us greatly that he seems to be genuinely excited to bring in other speakers to partner with him. He's already been communicating to our team about who amongst us he wants to speak alongside him. It's super-humbling for all of us, and a bit scary for some, but it's so hard to say "no" to him once you've gotten to know him. It's like he knows how it's all going to turn out and is ALWAYS assuring us that he'll be right there to cover any blunders on our part. 

If that is not enough, wait til you hear this--they've all three agreed to meet with each one of you personally. I know, crazy right?! How could that even be possible? If I hadn't seen it before at our previous Hope at Home events, I would be doubtful myself. But sure enough, somehow he pulls it off. Our suggestion to you is to plan on meeting with all three; you may have some questions or areas of interest you want to address with each one. Some of us have learned how wonderful it is just to hang out and enjoy the privilege of having one-on-one time with speakers of this caliber. 

Oh yes, one more thing... they are trained in healing of all sorts, both physical and emotional, so if you have a healing need be sure to look for them. They've been training some of our folks here at Northlands to be physician's assistants over the past few years, so we are pretty excited to be able to participate. It is so touching that all three seem to care so very deeply about each and every one of our children-- adopted, biological and foster. It's almost like they love them more than we, their parents, do. Really! I can't explain it, I'm just telling it like it is.

This is all to say--we are so filled with hope for Hope at Home 2013! And our hearts are full with anticipation to spend September 27-28 with you here in Atlanta, Georgia, along with our awesome God--Father, Son and Holy Spirit. To take advantage of the early bird registration rate and to read more details REGISTER NOW. (It also helps us a lot in our planning:~)

To keep up with Hope at Home 2013 news and to enjoy ongoing encouragement and help, Find us on FACEBOOK. 

WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR HAND?

^{From Beth:}

^{One of the struggles parents frequently share with us at Hope at Home is a nagging and sometimes overriding feeling of inadequacy to parent and love the children God has brought into our families. I doubt there is a one of us who will not experience these uncomfortable feelings at some point or another over the years of parenting. I find it so very comforting to look at some of the stories God was careful to include in His Word when I feel this way. They remind me that I am not alone when I face tough situations with little or nothing to bring to the answer. 
Over and over we see it played out in scripture-- that which appears weak, indeed that which is weak, is transformed into the very strength needed to take down the mightiest of problems.}

How often have I, when faced with a big problem, gone straight to the big answer--at least, what looks on the surface like a big answer. And that right there is where many of us get stuck. We look around, and we look within, and we have no such big answer. Help! Clearly there are times when what I bring to the problem is no where near what is needed. This is a mighty problem! Where is my might answer?!

But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty (1 Corinthians 1:27)

I love that God let's us know up front that He actually chooses, not by default but by His own volition, to use the weak things of this world to put those mighty problems to shame. Now that right there is some good news my friends-- at least, it is for me! This amazing adventure of adoption has been a blessing to Stephen and me in so many ways, one of which is the coming to the end of ourselves so that we can better enjoy the strength of the Lord in our lives. 

So, like David, we pick up the little parenting weapon at hand, and put our trust in the Lord and what He has said about us and about our children, and we take that giant of a problem down. (1 Samuel 17)

Like the little boy who shared his lunch on that hillside all those years ago, we offer our few loaves and fish, give thanks, and start meeting the need with what we have in our hands. (John 6)

Like Moses, we may hear God ask, "What is that in your hand?" And maybe we feel a bit confused because all we have is an ordinary, run-of-the-mill rod that is our parenting wisdom/skill/experience, and surely that is not what God is going to use to put the mighty problem before us to shame. What is needed is a mighty weapon that will part the waters between our child and healing, not an unimpressive stick used in the every-day shepherding of our flock. (Exodus 4)

So, dear parent, I sense God asking us today, "what is that in your hand?" For he knows who I am and all about the little bit that I bring to this parenting journey. He sees my few pebbles of patience, my little sling shot of adoption wisdom, my loaves of trauma training and education, my few fish of understanding, and my walking stick of attachment techniques. It seems that He has got our backs in this situation. He has chosen you and me, knowing we are weak, to do the very mighty things we are desiring to see in our homes, and more!

If God makes the considered decision to use what seems foolish and unimpressive to us to put the mighty to shame, then I want to learn to make the same decision myself the next time I am aware of my inadequacies as a parent. Let us trust God for giants to fall, massive needs to be met in abundance, and deliverance for the captives, because He has not despised the weak things of the world! He has chosen to use us, especially when we are foolish and weak, to parent each precious life, each son and each daughter. 

FAMILY DEVOTIONS-- HEALTHY TEETH AND HEALTHY SOULS

From Susan:

I love the well-known words of John Piper, "God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in Him." I love the fact that he and his wife adopted! 
And I love what he says about healthy teeth and healthy souls. During one of his talks, John said that when your child is old enough to push Play on the CD player, your child is old enough to have time with God. (Maybe now he would replace the CD player with a cell phone or ipad!) He went on to say that we feel great comfort in, and even a moral obligation to expect our children to brush their teeth every morning and every night, starting at about age 2 (or even younger!) Well, having a healthy soul is much more important than having healthy teeth -- souls last forever, you know!! So we teach our children, starting at a young age, how to spend time with the Lord every day. This helps set them on a life-long path of taking good care of their souls. Moses was writing about this when he said, 

And these words that I comand you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise. (Deut 6:6-7).

Making a Place for the Lord

Many of us endeavor to fullly incorporate the Lord's presence and influence and love in more of an "as you walk and sit and drive and walk and rise and live" kind of way -- and that is wonderful. There are others who may have some dedicated time as a family together with the Lord -- and this too is wonderful. There is full freedom in how we may walk out the principles of this passage, practically. 

In our family, we chose to have some time set aside for family devotions. Our habit on most evenings has been to gather everyone together for 10 to 20 minutes before bedtime. More important than this corporate time, though, has been our encouragement to every one in the family to have their own individual time with the Lord (drawing, praying, dancing, journaling, sculpting, walking in nature....) Even when everyone had sports and homework and social life and urgent demands, we encouraged each other to put first things first - keeping our souls nourished in the love of God. I would tell our kids, "Remember these numbers -- 12345! But instead 13245! This means Psalm 132:45, 

I determined not to allow sleep to my eyes or slumber to my eyelids until I had made a place for the Lord! 

So what Mommy does is not turn off her light until I have had some time with the Lord. Let's all live this way! It is a wonderfully healthy way to live!  We feel the love and help of God!"

Since I am more inspired by principles than activities, and even find myself resistant towards lists of activities -- like the one below! -- let me say right out that the principles were to make the time together meaningful, engaging, authentic, and age-appropriate.   I was always looking for ideas. What we did when everyone was young was quite different than when we did when they were older.  Basically, we looked for what they enjoyed doing and often tried to make our family devo approach match that.  Here is a list of some ideas.

Family Devotions Ideas

• Drawing something in response to a one paragraph reading from a kid's devo book - and a question.  Questions may be like these:                                     What is something you are thankful for today?            What can you do to help someone this week?            What has God done for you that makes you feel loved?  What makes you feel like Jesus is your friend?          What problem has the Holy Spirit helped you with?        Who is the person that most reminds you of Jesus?   Then we would try to guess what each other's pictures were. I draw like a 6 year old, so this put me on a very level playing field! 
• Going on a walk and picking some leaf or flower or rock or weed or something that reminds us of God's attention to planning details or creation or beauty or some such thing - and then talking about examples of how He plans the details of our lives.
• Laying in the front yard on a quilt and looking up at the stars and thanking God for one of them, after reading the Psalm 147:4 about how He numbers the stars and calls them all by name.
• Climbing up on the roof and sitting up there to pray goodnight together.
•  Breaking up into 3 or 4 small groups for prayer and letting a different kid lead their group and pick their 2 other group members from among the siblings - then Brian and I would divide up to be in the group full of the silly ones who may not otherwise get around to praying. And we encouraged them to "pick one thing to thank God for" or "pick one thing to ask God for, for someone else" or "pick one thing you need God to help you with." Note the "one thing" -- we didn't want the time to go on and on and on for the ones with short attention spans.
• Having kids play instruments they were learning - or us play a song on the guitar and singing it.
• Family read alouds - we did tons of this when they were older - Cross and the Switchblade, The Heavenly Man,  Castaway Kid, just to name a few.  Our kids loved this!  We also read a lot of illustrated children's books by Max Lucado and other authors.
• Listening to a worship song together and then praying.
• The most common and most obvious -- reading a passage of Scripture and praying about it. We often chose the passage based on something the Lord was using in our own lives, or at times to address an area of family life that could benefit from revelation and transformation, like perhaps faith or hope or kindness or forgiveness or submission to authority.   
• Asking who had something to share from their own times with the Lord that week - and leaving it open.
• Making play dough sculptures of something God cared about....could be any of a number of ideas.
• Painting with water colors or acrylics or drawing with pastels - or doing a nature study type of drawing....of anything we wanted to praise God for or pray about.
• Getting a pan and filling it with water, sitting around it on the floor, and dropping a huge rock into it and watching the water spill everywhere -- and asking what lessons we can learn. The one I like is "the water is like God's life of love inside of us - and the Holy Spirit drops inside of us - like this huge rock (Jesus is like a rock you know - strong!) and God's love overflows and comes out to touch everyone around us!" I looked for the Lord to give me ideas like this -- engaging and fun!

And for the sake of honesty let me say, yes, there were times when we would be reading about kindness and kids would be hitting each other; we would be reading about forgiveness and there would be such a thick atmosphere of bitterness that you could almost see it. Or the trials of life would seem so big that we would feel overwhelmed, or that we would feel we were in a storm and overcome, shipwrecked. It was not that we had a pollyanna existence - in fact I think we had more problems than most people - but we have a God who always has shown Himself bigger than our problems.

A Final Story

What we really are longing to do is this: "strengthen our children's hand in God." (I Sam 23:16)

In other words, we want our children to know that we will always be there for them, ready to take their hand literally and figuratively, but even more importantly, THE God who created them and us and the world and the universe and time and space is right there, wanting to hold their hand. God's hand is stronger and wiser and even more loving than their mommy or daddy's hand. He will never let go of them.

It's like this picture. The big hand is God's and the litte one is mine - or theirs.

At the very youngest ages, they begin to experience this.  Like when Cristi was 4 and asked me to buy her a piano, when our income was so modest that I could not afford to use the dryer and could save 10 dollars a month by hanging clothes on the clothesline stead. "Honey, we don't have money for a piano, but God can give us a piano if he wants us to have one. Let's pray." So we do and the next week at church I ask Frank the piano tuner if he happens to know of anyone wanting to give away a piano and he says, "YES, I DO! I just tuned a piano for a 65 year old couple who don't play it anymore and they told me they are wanting to give their piano away. I am sure I could put it in my truck and bring it over this week if you want."  

And our little daughter experienced the LAVISH LOVE of God - the God who holds her hand and taught those little hands to play that piano in preparation for the bigger hands that would play the harp! It was consistent with her life verse from Isaiah  "thanksgiving and joy will be found in her, and the voice of a melody." 

Within the year we would be with our neighbor Denise at a hosital after our son Jonny quit breathing at home one day, due to his heart problems. The ambulance delayed so our neighbor rushed us in her car to the hospital, only minutes away. I am back in the ER with Jonny while Cristi, knowing God cares about pianos, knew all the more that God cared about her little brother -- so right there in that emergency room she says to our kind neighbor, "Denise," in her little girl voice, "Denise, let's pray." And that child's faith influenced that grown woman, renewing her own faith towards the God of heaven.

Participants in God's Great Story

And we all are participating in God's great story! Our children are participating in God's great story. And we have the privilege of strengthening their hands in God, and then they pass this on....strengthening others' hands in God. And this little girl is a young woman, a delightful mother (see the picture below for yourself!), who is believing God that there will be a World Without Orphans, a movement to which she has been called.  

And I never knew. I never knew the treasure that God was preparing, even then, as we sought to nourish her soul, the treasure that He was allowing our family to influence. For the World. For a World Without Orphans. For a World With Sons and Daughters.

Amen and Amen.

Would you take a moment to share something(s) you have done in family devotionals? Or ways you have been able to encourage your children to enjoy the Lord on their own? Thanks-- it's a help to us all!

TIME IN AND THE FARMER'S LIFE

From Beth:

Time In

Lately I've been needing to make use of the helpful Time In concept. Not for my children, but for me! I've had to sit myself down and have these little talks to myself about my behavior. On the outside I am mostly behaving well you will be relieved to know (especially if you are a part of my daily life!), but my emotions have been throwing the most horrible tantrums. My goodness but they are a mess sometimes! We have been going through a stressful parenting season and my feelings have so needed to be brought right up close next to my spirit and given a firm, loving, patient talking-to. Like David in the Psalms, I am having to pull my soul aside and say, "Today, we are going to bless the Lord. That is just the way it is going to be. You can throw all the fits you want, but my suggestion to you, self, is that you get with the program here. Yes, things are tough, but God is tougher, so we are going to go with that truth, alright? Got it?"

A Farmer's Life 

In these Time-In encounters I have been reminding my errant feelings of a few things--things my spirit knows to be true despite whatever current facts are in my face, helping my emotions gain the life-giving and peace-filled perspective of Truth. I tell myself that it's a farmer's life I am living. I am remembering that, as Psalm 126:5-6 says, 

Those who sow with tears shall reap with rejoicing. He who diligently goes out with weeping, carrying the seed bag, shall certainly come in with rejoicing, carrying his sheaves.

Some translations say "doubtless" rather than "certainly." I like them both. Since God has taken the time to add this word, I'm thinking we want to "take Him at His word!" He makes it clear that the outcome of our labors is certain. There is power in the promise. There is strength in the promise.

In difficult seasons I am telling myself that I want to be sure not to just endure until things get better, or until they "feel" better. No, I want to be busy sowing, for I am assured, as are you fellow parent, that when we choose the farmer's life, when we keep sowing seeds of love, patience, truth, identity, hope, faith, relationship, destiny, etc., we are assured that there will come a time of reaping accompanied by some serious rejoicing. Whoohooo!! Sowing in tears is all about hope it seems to me. When I sow I have expectation of a harvest, right? Otherwise, I would not bother to sow all those seeds of love. So while I am dealing with something that causes tears to well up, I don't quit sowing the seed God has given me. 

And certainly I will be rejoicing, the word says. Certainly. When I sow in those seasons where my emotions whisper for me to quit (and sometimes they even yell out at me!), God promises something. It is a certainty, according to Him. I will rejoice because of the harvest. It's a done deal. 

The Mingling Flavor of Fruit with Tears

On any given day I experience an ever present mingling of both reaping and sowing. Seeds sown years ago are bearing fruit, and oh how we rejoice in it! And with the taste of that fruit fresh on my tongue, I get to choose to keep sowing the seeds God has given me, even as unavoidable tears blend with the flavor of victory. I tell myself that my weeping doesn't need to interrupt or obstruct my sowing. It is good to have this mingling because the reaping of previous seasons of sowing feeds my faith for the current sowing opportunity.

So, I tuck my naughty emotions right up close to my spirit and we have our little time-in. I remind myself that I am promised a joyful harvest and that I will be enjoying the fruit that is the inevitable result of sowing. I have some good news to share with myself! I read myself some Truth:

"So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith." Galatians 6:9-10 

"Happy and fortunate are you who cast your seed upon all waters [when the river overflows its banks; for the seed will sink into the mud and when the waters subside, the plant will spring up; you will find it after many days and reap an abundant harvest], you who safely send forth the ox and the donkey [to range freely]." Isaiah 32:20 

"So don’t throw it all away now. You were sure of yourselves then. It’s still a sure thing! But you need to stick it out, staying with God’s plan so you’ll be there for the promised completion. It won’t be long now, he’s on the way; he’ll show up most any minute. But anyone who is right with me thrives on loyal trust; if he cuts and runs, I won’t be very happy.But we’re not quitters who lose out. Oh, no! We’ll stay with it and survive, trusting all the way." Hebrews 10:36

Jesus, today I choose not to allow tears to interrupt the wonderful work of sowing. I embrace the farmer's life! Would you help me today to walk the path of promise, to stay on the trail of truth in these fields. Give me the heart of one who sows in all seasons, and the seed needed for the fields I am in this day. My trust is in You for all of these things God. And I thank You even now for the harvest, the certain and abundant harvest. Amen.

MARRIAGE MONDAY: YOUR MARRIAGE AND THE ONE THING

From Scott Means:

You have probably heard the story of Mary and Martha dozens of times. (If you want to reread the account in Luke 10 click here.) As familiar as this story is, have you ever tried to apply this scripture to your marriage? 

On my blog, Journey to Surrender, I often explore ways in which spiritual truths translate into marital truths. After all, our relationship to Jesus as our bridegroom is a picture of what marriage is designed to be. How excellent is it that we get to be “married” to the one who designed marriage in the first place? 

So back to our story of Mary and Martha. There are two phrases in these verses that strike me as important in applying them to your marriage. 

Distracted with Much Serving

Verse 40 of Luke 10 says that Martha was “distracted with much serving” as she went about making preparations for their guest, Jesus. She was probably cleaning and preparing food and serving it, making sure everything was just right for their dear friend and honored guest. Mary, on the other hand, was satisfied just to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen intently, to share a moment of intimacy and connection with him.

It is so easy to let our crazy-busy lives drive us to distraction. Husbands and wives are busy serving in so many ways. Our children require a great deal of attention and emotional and physical energy. Our jobs are as demanding as ever as companies strive to do more with fewer employees. Church is another place where service, as important as that is, can leave us drained and distracted.  

auremar/123rf.com

All of this serving can leave your marriage without the intimacy that comes from simply focusing solely on each other. How often do you give your husband or wife your 100% full attention, without a hundred distractions competing for your thoughts and emotions? How often does your marriage get the leftovers, after you’ve poured yourself into everything else?

One Thing Is Needed
When Martha complains to Jesus that Mary should to get up and do her fair share, Jesus tells her, “You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.” Then he explains to Martha that “Mary has chosen what is most important.”

Do you regularly make your wife or husband your “one thing” or do you let the “many things” distract you and detract from the intimacy in your marriage? 

Just like focused time with Jesus fuels our intimacy with him, so is focused time with your spouse essential for marital intimacy.

I know there are many things competing for your time, attention and energy. I understand that completely. But you and your spouse are one, and that distinguishes your marriage relationship from everything else in your life. You aren’t one with your kids. You aren’t one with your boss. You aren’t one with your pastor or church. 

A 7-Day Challenge
I want to challenge you to try a “one thing” experiment over the course of the next week. 

During these seven days, I want you to spend some time each day letting your wife or husband be your “one thing.” It doesn’t have to be a long time, but it does need to be daily. You don’t have to sit at his or her feet, but you do need to give each other your completely undivided attention. Make this time all about your spouse and your marriage.

During this time, be sure to connect intimately in multiple dimensions. 

• Spiritual intimacy can come in the form of praying together, sharing needs, sharing a meaningful verse or scripture, or talking about what God is teaching you in this season. 
• Emotional Intimacy includes things like talking about your marriage, sharing the day’s best and worst moments with each other. If you need a little help in this area, download the “20 Questions for Romantic Connections” that I shared with you in my previous Marriage Monday post. 
• Physical Intimacy is often the first thing to go when we are distracted and exhausted. Renew your commitment this week to make sexual intimacy a high priority. Maybe seven days in a row is completely out of reach, so go for 3 or 4. In addition, make sure to include a lot of physical touch, snuggling and kissing in your daily “one thing” time. 

In recent Marriage Monday posts, Brad, Kate and Beth have all made the case for making your marriage a top priority, second only to your relationship with Jesus.  

Today I’m asking you to take action by taking up this 7-Day challenge!

Be purposeful about settings aside time daily to focus exclusively on each other and on the intimacy in your marriage. My guess is that at the end of the week, you won’t want to stop!

Do you have some tips to offer for making a daily “one thing” connection in the spiritual, emotional or physical dimensions of your marriage?  I hope you will stop back by and share your experience with the challenge.

A BIOLOGICAL SON GIVES HIS LIFE FOR HIS ADOPTED SIBLINGS

Our good friend, Shanin Macaluso, mother of two biological sons and two adopted daughters from Russia, shared something with us that we really thought you all would also want to hear. Very cool! She and her husband Dan live in California and are greatly missed by their Atlanta friends!

I love my quiet times with God. I love how He reveals Himself to me in those times I set aside for Him. He never disappoints. I've been reading this book, The Bible, for almost forty years. If you took out all of the extras, like cross-references, definitions, maps, commentaries, etc. that it would be almost as long as the last four Harry Potter books put together. So picture the same forty years reading these last four Harry Potter books... I suspect I would have plateaued in all there was to discover before the end of year two, if I'm being really generous to account for symbolism and the like. 

On this particular day I was reading in John 14. Jesus is telling the disciples about how he is about to leave them, but to take heart. He will be sending the Holy Spirit to not just live among them, like He himself was at that time, but to dwell within them. He said that He would not "leave them as orphans." As we know, this promise of the Holy Spirit was for us as well. We, too, when Jesus left this earth, were not left "as orphans."

Jesus clearly wants more for us than to be without a parent to guide, protect and provide for us. And a quick look at scriptures shows us that Father God places a high value on orphans. (Check out James 1:27, Isaiah 1:17, Exodus 22:22-24, Deuteronomy 10:18, Psalm 68:5-6)

No Second Class Children in Our Family
When Dan and I felt that God had placed adoption on our hearts, we approached our children to get their take on the idea. We knew it was very important to explain that these children would not be second-class children, rather any adopted child in our family would assume all of the rights and privileges that they themselves had. We explained, to the best of our ability, how much “sharing” would be required of them -- their bathroom, the television, their parents AND their inheritance. We didn’t want the issue of inheritance to be a big surprise upon our death. Instead of half, each child would be receiving a quarter, an equal share, just like the scripture says.

Romans 8:16-18 “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs -- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”

Ephesians 1:4-6 “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will -- to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.” (This One he loves, is Jesus, and I need to come back to him in a minute.) 

The Macaluso Family BA (Before Adoption)

Adopted Children Have Equal Inheritance
Maybe my kids also found some comfort that there would be two more people to share in the “suffering” that is chores! The scripture is clear that, although we as believers have been adopted, we have full “sonship.” We have equal inheritance with Jesus, who clearly was the child who did all of the work. Don’t we despise when we watch a tv show and some rich man dies and they read the will, only to reveal that the child who hasn’t seen the guy in twenty years gets as much as the child who spent the last twenty years caring for the elderly parent? It isn’t fair! But that’s how God sees us -- as children of equal status.

I do have to share my boys’ responses when we were explaining all of these things with them, not because they are relevant to my point, but because they make me proud. Kyle, who was 13 at the time, immediately said “I’m in. Let’s do it.” Sam, then 10--the younger and therefore picked-on brother- said “I have so many problems with the sibling I have... Why would I want another?” Oh, I love the honesty! But about fifteen minutes later he came up to us and said, “You know, everything natural makes me think ‘Why would I want this? Why would I want to share my stuff and everything?' But I really want to say yes, so it must be a God thing. Let’s do it.”

Dan, Shanin, and their new daughters in the orphanage in Russia

Too Good to Be True
I've heard this notion of the adoption of saints and being co-heirs with Christ throughout my Christian walk. I think after almost four decades, I’m finally starting to get it. And I really think my biological boys, who have now been with us for 20 and 17 years, believe it about their adopted sisters, who have been with us for just 6 1/2 years. But in spite of our last will and testament and our best efforts of encouragement, I believe that our adopted daughters (Sasha, adopted at 16 and who is now 22 and Elizabeth, adopted at 13 and is now 19) do not yet believe it about themselves. I think it’s because Satan feeds them lies to the contrary and, quite frankly, it’s just too good to be true, especially in the world in which they’d been raised. But that’s what the Bible says; we are co-heirs with Christ. 

Sasha and Elizabeth enjoy a grand airport Welcome Home!

It Gets Even Better!
But I think it gets even better, and this is what God showed me today... Please consider the most quoted and well-known verse in the Bible, and the verse that follows:

John 3:16-17 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

Even six-plus years after adoption, something hit me for the very first time: The Bible calls Jesus God’s “one and only Son.” He is, in essence, God's biological “only child.” What did He do with his one and only biological child? He removed him from heaven, sent him into a dark world that would reject him, mock him and ultimately kill him. Who did He do it for? His adopted children. Wow! 

God sacrificed his biological child for his adopted child. He gave Jesus unto death, that you and I might live. 

John 10:10b “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

That doesn’t sound like a second-rate child at all! We are not an afterthought! Isn't this a beautiful picture of the intensity of passion which God feels towards us, His adopted saints? Isn't it also a beautiful picture of how we adoptive parents feel about our adopted children? 

Kyle, Liz, Sasha, Sam

Father God, we pray for this revelation to break into the hearts of our adopted children so that they can step up and take their rightful place -- both in our families and in the Kingdom. May they be overwhelmed with the knowledge of Your love for them and may their identity be 

Beloved Son/Beloved Daughter of The King, Highly Favored, Deeply Loved, and Richly Blessed!

Come on over and join us on Facebook!

CATCH AND RELEASE

From Susan:

As kids grow, what we do with them changes! Like this week for example, as I took off several days to hang out with my college-age boys, home for a few days before heading out to participate in Campus Outreach Summer Leadership Program at the beach. These are times when loving them more means seeing them less. Back to the story-- so I asked, "Hey guys, what would you like to do together on my 2 days off?" The answer was clear, "Mom, we would LOVE to take you golfing - you will enjoy riding in the cart and relaxing in the beauty of God's creation and you can try to golf too if you want...." Now THAT was amazingly humorous, as I did in fact golf, under their tutelage, for the second time ever, and actually impressed them with being able to make contact with the ball!

Susan with two of her sons, Vasya and Trevor

The other fun activity they proposed was fishing -  we have spent a lot of time every day at the lake near our house, fishing 'catch and release.' And those released fish just scurry off with splashing vigor when dropped to their freedom in that life-giving water!!! Every time we caught a fish - which was multiple times every evening, we would "catch and release," and I would remember the message from Christy Nockels at Passion City this past Sunday. Let me tell you about it.

Best Message on Parenting!

Of all the books, articles, talks, sermons, messages and conversations I have ever had about parenting, the absolute hands-down BEST was the one I heard from Christy Nockels at Passion City Church, Mother's Day evening. All I could long for is that God would open a way for her to broadcast this message to the world!!!!! Yes, I do mean it -- the WORLD! If anyone reading this knows her, please pass along this encouragement to her!!! 

For those who may not have time to listen, here is a brief summary of the talk, with a few added thoughts along the way.

Catch and Release Parenting; Catch and Release Life

To be a parent or a mother, or honestly, to be involved in any relationship or work or ministry or service, we need to have a "catch and release" approach. Just like fishing. We catch, but then we release back to God. 

Trevor-- catch and release!

Particularly, we release our failures, as well as our successes.  

We have to remember that even when we fail, or when others think we fail, that does NOT mean we are failures. In fact and in truth and in deed, we are fearfully and wonderfully made, treasures and image-bearers, with beautiful purpose in the hand of the Master. And all of this is just as true for us when it appears we succeed. We are bearing fruit as a consequence of abiding in God's love, as Jesus teaches in John 15. As Christy sings, "with my roots deep in You, I'll grow the branch that bears the fruit."

For me, the most important line of her entire talk was the part where she explains that because of this "catch and release" approach, we tell our kids this: 

My identity is not wrapped up in who you are; the Lord has you. 

Parenting that Transforms Us

That simple statement, lived fully and daily, transforms us into people of peace and joy and hope. If my identify is NOT wrapped up in how my kids or work or house or ministry or appearance turn out, then my identity IS wrapped up in the Lord's love and purpose and compassion for me and for the world.

Christy Nockels closed her talk with a description of sitting before the piano and the Lord giving her a song. I scribbled trying to copy it down as she sang it with that gloriously anointed voice - and here are the excerpts of her lyrics that I pass on, urging you to go listen for yourself. The lyrics are true for me and for you and for our spouses and for our children!!!

I see you,

Even thougth

You think I don't see you; 

I see all your hard work.

I love you,

More than you know;

I see every sigh in the morning; 

I hear every cry in the night.

I'm holding you together

Like glue and like mortar;

Every seam, every corner,

My love covers you." 

by Christy Nockels, Passion City Church, Atlanta, Mother's Day, 2013

So, dearly beloved treasures, as we close we pray,

Today may we would walk in the full joy and peace and hope of those who know our own identity before You, Lord, as Your beloved children; and from that place, may we experience unbridled freedom to let that very love You have for us flow through us in all its fullness to all those we love and see and connect with, today and every day.  Amen and amen.

A Bit More from Beth:
I just want to add a story that Susan shared with me. Susan and I are all about being copy cats when it comes to good parenting ideas! I am thinking you and I may want to copy this example of seizing the moment to share a truth with our children that God is teaching us without giving a sermon. Here is Susan's story: 

As we are gingerly removing the hook from the mouth of the decent sized bass, I say, "Hey...did you know catch and release is the best way to live a good life before God?"

Trevor asks, "What do you mean, mom?"
"I mean, the world will often reject you for your failures or inflate you for your successes. But in faith we know we are fully loved and accepted in the Lord in spite of our failures and equipped and enabled by God's love and wisdom and strength in any success. It was what was shared in our sermon Sunday night. I LOOVVVEEDD IT!!!  I urge you, buddy, to live a catch and release life!"

Trevor's catch and release fish.

If I had been talking with my kids at younger ages I would have told the same story in simple words...daring them to always remember this when they are fishing. I would also add a new question, "What happens to that little fish if we don't release it?" Of course the answer for me is that it would not be what God made it to be.

Come on over to our Hope at Home Facebook Page to enjoy daily nourishment for adoptive and foster parents. 

Follow us on Twitter too! @hope_at_home_