Showing posts with label Visiting Orphans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Visiting Orphans. Show all posts

Monday, August 29, 2011

WHAT ABOUT THE ONES WHO DIDN'T GET ADOPTED?


Two more weeks to register for HOPE AT HOME 2011 at the Early Bird Price! Come enjoy the encouragement and refreshing you need to parent your adoptive/foster family. Get help in how to address the tough questions your children ask about their past, how to help your child hear from God, raising children with special needs, being a single adoptive mother, fathering your adopted child, and more. 


"Susan (Hillis) and I are heading to a town on the border of Finland called Vyborg. But to tell you the truth, I just wish I could come home," I say to my husband Stephen over the long distance phone line. My first trip to Russia had overwhelmed me in every way and what I wanted most after being exposed for the first time to the little faces that represented such great need, individually and globally, was to be back home with my three girls and husband. "There are two children there that the Director of Education wants us to meet." And so begins a wonderful story of God at work in the lives of ordinary people. You may have read some of this story from the perspective of our children. You can do that by reading "Adopted Children's Perspectives" and "Biological Children's Perspectives." But as with all good stories, there is was more going on beneath the surface!


We thought I had travelled to Russia with my dear friend Susan Hillis so that we could discern God's will for us in adoption. We knew He had called us at that point, but we were unsure how to proceed-- we recently had almost adopted a brother and sister who at the last minute had been removed from the orphanage. As is always the case with our amazing God, His plans were far greater than what we understood. Yet when Susan and I travelled to Vyborg, I ended up meeting Kristina and Pasha, who not long after became Templetons. As soon as it became clear that we would adopt from the orphanage just outside Vyborg, Stephen immediately typed in the words, "Vyborg, Christian" in his computer search engine (these were pre google days!) and up came "Vyborg Christian Center." He decided then to go ahead and contact these people, just to see where it would lead. Here is the email:



We got an immediate response from a wonderful woman who has since become as family to us. I asked Judy to share:
Hello. My name is Judy Grout.  My husband , Richard and I have been working in Vyborg, Russia, for a eighteen years.  He is director of the Vyborg Christian Center, an interdenominational Christian organization which serves in several different areas--evangelism, Bible and literature distribution, and help for the needy.

We first became acquainted with the State Orphanage in Vyborg when we went to the director and asked if we could teach a Bible class in the orphanage, as we had done in other institutions. She firmly gave us a negative answer, saying that it was against the Russian law.  But a few months later we received an email from the Templetons, saying that they were planning to adopt  from this orphanage and asking if we could visit their children .  This opened a door for us to have a ministry there.  I began teaching English classes to prepare these children for adoption.  Others in the orphanage attended these classes and others were also adopted.  Then the Lord provided (through a local  factory owner) a meeting room near the orphanage where we could have Bible classes which the director allowed the children to attend.

Eleven children from this orphanage have been adopted by Christian families in America, and we have met all these families before or at the time of the adoption. We feel that it has been a great privilege to minister to these children even before they met their new families. These Christian families have also had a profound influence on the director of the State children’s home, who in her last years there as director became very appreciative of the work we were doing with the children in our Bible classes.  The songs they sang about God touched her heart.


One of the families from Atlanta to travel
to Vyborg and adopt
Judy and Richard visiting two of the children
adopted by a family in Orlando
As Susan and I drove away from the orphanage, I was filled with mixed emotions. On one hand I felt incredible joy at having met these two amazing children who I felt God calling us to adopt - I had met my son and daughter. Yet as I looked out the back window, I saw a line of other children standing at the orphanage gates, waving forlornly as we pulled away. I couldn't help wonder what would happen to them, whether they would find loving families or end up on the streets after their time in the orphanage was up. A heavy weight filled my heart as I realized I couldn't adopt all of them, couldn't give all of them the love and care that they deserved. But the beautiful thing is that God can, and has.


We feel God has given us a great privilege to see some of His "behind the scenes of adoption" work through our friendship with the Grouts. Judy and Richard not only became a connector for the children who were being adopted, they also developed a truly amazing and fruitful ministry to the ones who did not get adopted. Judy shares,


All  of the children had friends who were never adopted, and we tried to continue to be friends with them even after they left the orphanage. Many continue coming to visit us, we try to celebrate their birthdays, and we have even helped some to get started in local colleges.  Several years ago we started a “homecoming dinner” on Friday evenings for these youth who had no home to go to.  This has evolved into a youth meeting that includes many  others now, but there are usually some orphans present.  These children have become like our extended family and we hope to be here for them as a witness to the power of God to guide their lives so that their children will never need to live in an orphanage.


Many of you may be aware that the statistics on children who age-out of the orphanages are very bad. Most end up on the streets, in jail, addicted to drugs, or dead. Because of the prayers and ministry through Judy, a ministry primarily of love and relationship, the young people who were in our children's groups have completely flipped those statistics around. 

Just a few months ago we travelled back to Vyborg and attended one of Judy's parties. It was very moving to see a room literally filled with young people who have moved away from the orphanage, but who were living relatively good lives. Some of them are married, quite a few have children of their own already. Our daughter Kristina's best friend, Natasha (in the photo below on the right) has a baby out of wedlock. But this baby is a son in his mother's arms. He is not in an orphanage. Judy, along with others, is helping Natasha learn how to be the mommy she never had. One of the girls, has taken art classes and works in a store. Another young man, Sasha, is working as a mechanic. And Ruslan, who was in the first English class Judy taught in the orphanage is living in Sweden with a family and studying to be a nurse. 

Our Kristina (center) with two of her friends from the orphanage on a visit in 2009
Richard takes Ruslan to the ferry that will take him to
Sweden where he begins his studies

Julia and Lena with their 2 year olds
It is clear to me that this is the case because they are shown on-going love and have true relationship with this woman of God. She knows their names. She knows their birthdays. She knows who they are. And they know they are known. They know they are prayed for. They know they are loved. Sadly, this love has not come to them through adoption into a family, but look what the Lord has done!


April, 2011 at the Vyborg Christian Center
Kalinina Reunion Party
Many of these children have received letters from pen pals that Judy has given them. All have been prayed for by name over the years. Many have become Christians. She has photo albums with pictures of them through the years. Sitting at that table, I was so struck by the life-giving ministry of someone like Judy who did not adopt, but who visited, loved and KNEW these children. This is a powerful work. All of us who have stood outside of an orphanage or courtroom, arms wide open to receive our children, know the cutting grief and sadness from leaving so many behind. 
Lana Grace, Ksusha and Alex Hillis running from the orphanage
into the arms of their parents
Many times children stand at the gates as their friends drive
away to homes they can only dream of
With one email, a door that was shut tight swung open wide. A Soviet-style director went from the forbidding of Christian ministry to the open encouragement of Bible clubs, children's art programs, church attendance, and permission to spend the night with Christian families. God's hands are never tied, and our prayers are effective, changing lives for eternity. We never know what beautiful layers of God's purposes lie beneath the surface of our obedient responses to His voice. I encourage us today to pray for the children left behind, the ones who didn't get adopted. Pray in faith. Call forth people like Judy and Richard Grout. Support those whose ministry is to the orphan. And believe for the statistics to be reversed!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

WHEN VISITING IS ENOUGH

We'll be hearing from Susan Hillis at our HOPE AT HOME 2011 Conference here in Atlanta, September 23-24. Register now to take advantage of the Early Bird Fee.

Would you share HOPE AT HOME 2011 with your friends? http://northlandschurch.com/hopeathome/promote

From Susan Hillis:

A Curious Injunction

The response to orphans in the New American Standard Bible in James 1:27 always caught my attention because initially it was a curious injunction that sounded ironically misguided…visiting?--That’s enough?
This is pure and undefiled religion the life of God our Father, to visit widows and orphans in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.
Many of us have ‘visited’ orphans, and we have felt deeply that it is not enough. It has, to me, many times felt woefully inadequate. There are times, too, when I have felt cynically indignant and critical about do-gooders who visit to take their cute pictures and then go home with soothed consciences that they have done something important. Visiting has seemed like putting a tiny band-aid on a body covered 90% with third degree burns.

A Visiting Story

It was the year 2000, and we were in Russia in a frigid April, just as the winter ice was melting on the Neva River and many others like it.  We had gone to adopt Katya, Sasha and Vasya (then ages 10, 14, and 7), from their Soviet block orphanage in extreme disrepair. We met an unexpected heartbreak when, after being assured there were ‘only three children in this family, kind-eyed Masha introduced herself to me. 
“Hello. My name is Masha. I am Katya, Sasha and Vasya’s  ‘second sister,’ (the Russian word for ‘cousin.) I would like to go home with them and with you and your husband to America.”
The frozen Neva River, St. Petersburg, Russia
This was one of many occasions on which I felt a faith beyond me  rise up, larger than life.
“Masha, you are a precious girl and it would make me very happy to have you as my daughter.  But because you are 16 years old, it is against the law for you to be adopted by a foreign family.  Because of this, I cannot adopt you.  But I do want to tell you about our Father in heaven who can adopt you and who is ready to do it now.  If you want to ask Him to come in to your heart and to forgive you and to show you His love and His purpose for your life, He will be with you forever as that good Father, that good parent that you are so longing for.  Do you want to pray with me now and ask Jesus to come into your heart and life forever, for God to be your Father?”
Masha replied, “Yes,” without hesitation, with faint tears, more of joy than sorrow, lacing her eyes.   “Then just pray after me, like this,” I explained. So I hugged her as we prayed, and she seemed somewhat content. But I was far from content.  Here I was helping introduce a young 16 year old orphaned girl to her heavenly Father and then walking away with her three cousins to leave her there abandoned, with no other believers to help nourish her fledgling faith. As I was driving away with our three new kids, the tears filling my eyes were not from joy at the gift of our next three children, but rather deep sorrow and gnawing frustration at driving away to leave this sweet girl alone…all alone.  With more doubt than belief I prayed, “Lord, I put your Name on the line back there and that sweet girl responded to You and NOW You are leaving her all alone in that place?! I ask that you please send someone to help Masha grow in her faith.”
Brian Hillis with Katya, Sasha and Vasya
Several years later when I had the opportunity to visit this orphanage again, I would remember Masha, by now aged-out of the orphanage and living who knows where.  Dear local believers opened their home to me for the night – an older couple who told fascinating stories of the husband’s former days of ruthless cruelty as a Soviet army officer fond of vodka, before he came to faith.  Before going to sleep that Friday night, the wife said with a warm smile, “Sister Susan, tomorrow you will have to warm your own breakfast because I will leave early – I have left you fresh blinii (Russian pancakes) and caviar here in the table. Every Saturday morning I go spend with a young girl named Masha  who I am helping to grow as a believer. She used to live in the same orphanage your children are from.”
Against all hope, I asked “Can you tell me if Masha’s last name is S_______?”  
“Why yes, how did you know?”
And my eyes burned as I recounted over the lump in my throat, the story of the desperate, doubt-riddled prayer over this young girl several years before.  

When  Visiting is Enough

In Masha’s story I saw that the role I was to play in her life was simply visiting her, and offering what I did have – the gospel and prayer -- no matter how meager and inadequate it seemed at the time.  It was the truth of Acts, “Paul planted, Apollos watered, and God caused the growth.” God’s design for my role in Masha’s life was simply planting. He knew at that time, even though I did not know, who He had in mind to do the watering, and that He would be the one to cause the growth.