An Adopted Child's Perspective on Adoption: Pasha

We wanted to share some of the stories of adoption from the point of view of the children, both biological and adopted. It has been fascinating and faith-building to hear them tell their own stories of life from their perspective. The seventh in this series is from our greatly loved son, Pasha. Pasha is 16 years old, entering his sophomore year in high school.

I Was So Scared of My Mom Leaving Us                       

I don't remember much of what happened in my life before I was adopted because I was quite young. The few things I do remember is living with my mom in an apartment, however, I have no memory of my father. The thing that I do remember of my life before the orphanage was how I used to go on walks with my mom and we would talk.

Unfortunately the one thing that I do remember about my life before the orphanage is the day that Kristina, my sister, and I were taken to the orphanage because my mother couldn’t take care of us. I was so scared of my mom leaving us. I cried a lot and couldn't understand the idea that my mother was leaving me here with these people that I didn't know. In the orphanage, I made some friends, but I was still really young. 

I remember quite a few hardships that I faced there. There was a day when one of my toys got stolen and it happened right in front of my eyes. I tried to do something about it but the other boy wouldn't give it back making feel angry that I couldn’t do anything about it. I would have to say that I was an angry little boy because my life was not a happy one. I remember another time where an innocent boy hit me with a door by accident. He apologized, but my anger devoured me to the point where I hit him with a yo-yo so that he bled from his head. These were hard times indeed.

Pasha (blue striped shirt with red pants) in the hospital
for one of the checkups needed before adoption

With a group of kids on the orphanage playground.
Pasha is the 2nd child on the right with hat and colorful sweater

Pasha on his 5th birthday, with Kristina, meeting his
adoptive mother for the first time. At that point
none of us knew we were family!

I Was So Happy to Find Someone Who Cared

One day I heard that someone wanted to take me home with them and make me a part of their family. I became so excited! Every night, I would think about it before I went to bed. When I first saw my mom and dad my heart leapt. I was so happy to find someone who wanted to take care of me and who actually cared about me. The first time I saw them, they were only visiting. 


So you can imagine my disappointment when they didn't return for a while.  I was scared they were going to leave me here in the orphanage like my mother did. Nevertheless, they came back and I knew that I was going home with them forever. I already began to feel happy when we were at the airport. “We’re flying,” I thought to myself. I was happier than I had ever been in my life.  I was excited to see what America had to offer and I didn't hold my happiness back. I had so many toys, my own room, my own bed, and good food that was always available. 

It was a little strange at first, but I quickly learned how to get along. Everyone was so kind to me, unlike people in Russia. I was the only boy in the family, but I didn't mind. My family adopted two other boys about two years later. Andrei and Sergei. It was nice to have other guys in the family.

Pasha (center) with Andrei and Sergei at the Moscow
airport. New brothers!

At the beach, a yearly event

For quite a few years Pasha was rarely
seen out of "character." His
enthusiasm for super heroes rubbed
off on his brothers

Freedom Being in a Family

It was usually not hard for me to obey my parents or do what they asked me to do. The hardest part for me though was when I felt disappointed at not getting what I want. That makes me angry and it does take me time to get over it, but I eventually do. I felt like I had more freedom being in a family. Because I was very young, in the orphanage the workers had a lot of control over me. I couldn’t do anything against them because then I would get punished.

Oldest sister Emma checking out one of many movies
Pasha made

The boys with their Dad on a weekend away

Christmas Presents!

Finding Out, and Forgetting the Past

My advice to other parents is limited because I am still trying to figure things out with my parents. The few things that I can say to parents who are planning to adopt would be this: Just be kind to them and show love for this is the key. For me personally it helps to talk a little bit about my earlier life. Because I was so young in Russia it was nice to find out about my past. It was nice to also forget my past because once you are adopted it feels like you are starting a new life. At the same time it is important to remember your past and what you went through.  Never make them feel uncomfortable about talking about their past and what happened to them.

I Felt God Speak to Me

Before I came to America I did not really have a relationship with God for some time. But one night at Youth Group, I felt God speak to me and tell me how much he really loved me. My parents have always told me the story about how God told them to adopt me. I thank God for that.  God used my family to lead me to God. Over time, God has really showed me who he is and how much he loves me. 

Pasha (3rd from left) with friends from his youth group

Pasha, an excellent drummer, plays in the church youth
worship band as well as for Sunday morning worship

Register now for HOPE AT HOME 2011 where you will have an opportunity to speak directly with older adopted and biological children and ask them questions as you seek to parent well the children God has given you.

CHANGED BY A MESSAGE I DID NOT HEAR

A Time of Refreshing:

Dr. Susan Hillis along with others whose hearts are full with the desire to serve adoptive and foster parents are so excited to have the opportunity to meet you and to come alongside you during HOPE AT HOME 2011 here in Atlanta, Georgia, September 23-24.

We see HOPE AT HOME 2011 as a time of refreshing for both husbands and wives as we encounter the Father's Heart for adoptive families. We are looking to God to fill our hearts with His Hope.

From Susan Hillis:

Connecting with Kind Eyes

Never.  I have never been so impacted by a message I did not hear.  My friend Amelia told me of Dr. Karyn Purvis' talk from the Louisville Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit, about connecting with kind eyes.  Being a researcher, I began to investigate this ‘still face’ phenomenon.  More than 25 years of research on this topic show how deeply a child’s emotional health hinges on whether there has been a stable caretaker in their lives who connects eye-to-eye with them.  But the connection has to have those love-brimming eyes.  The eyes of the little baby, cradled in her mother’s warm arms, drinks in hope, trust, safety, security, peace, and joy from her mama’s adoring gaze.  Here is a research clip introduced by the director of the Child Development Institute at Harvard, showing what I mean.  

                        
In this link, it is clear that the child must have this eye-to-eye connectedness, or she will grow visibly distraught, shrieking, flailing side-to-side.  In contrast, when the eye-to-eye ‘favor’ is filling the mama’s eyes, the little baby is a paragon of peace and contentment.  It brings back memories of that old book that was the foundation for my parenting in the early years, 'How to Really Love your Child,' by Ross Campbell.  Eye contact is one of the four critical ways kids 'hear' love.  And it doesn’t stop with the baby/young child phase.  Dr. Purvis emphasized that children who spend their early years in orphanages or outside of family care and then come into homes through adoption/fostering need their new parents to ‘backfill’ this eye-to-eye connectedness.

Am I in trouble?

As I was meditating on this theme of ‘eyes-filled-with-unfailing-love,’ I had one of those ‘ah-hah’ moments.  I realized what is behind a rather common occurrence that had always perplexed me.  It happens like this.  I am sitting in our family room lost in thought, or reading, or praying, or composing a blog post (J), or mentally doing some problem-solving.  One of my teenage daughters walks by and comments, “Mommy, what’s wrong?  Am I in trouble?”  And I reply, feeling confused by her question, “No sweetie, why in the world would you ask me that?  I am just sitting here thinking.  Why in the world do you ask me that all the time?”   After hearing the story of the talk I didn't hear, I determined to try my best to stop my reflections/ thinking/ musings/ mediations whenever this daughter walks by the family room and look into her in the eyes with 'favor,' or to put differently, like she is my favorite!  That is, with kindness and love and joy and hope and trust and compassion and understanding.  What is even more amazing is that if I determine to also wear inside my gaze this ‘unfailing favor’ when we are talking out a difference or conflict or disappointment, it appears impossible for either of us to be filled with anger.  Love wins instead.  Somehow she knows I am for her and not against her.

Finding favor in the eyes of the Lord

Loving the Scriptures as I do (the Word of the Lord endures forever!), I grew excited about studying the phrase ‘favor in the eyes of the Lord.’  I learned of four Old Testament characters who ‘found favor in the eyes of the Lord.’  They were Noah (Gen 6:8), Moses (Ex 34:9), Abraham (Gen 18:3), and Gideon (Judges 6:17).  Each of these servants of God had this pattern:

·      First, they found favor in the eyes of the Lord 

·      Second they were asked by God to do something heroic/ impossible/ crazy/ miraculous (build an ark, lead a stubborn people out of 400 years of slavery across the miraculously parted Red Sea, sacrifice the long-awaited son of promise, defeat the countless Midianite army with 300 men blowing bugles)

·      Third, the impact of their obedience was vast;  Noah: a new beginning for mankind after the flood; Moses: an entire nation entering the Promised Land with the written commandments of God; Abraham: blessing for all the nations in the world, and Gideon: 40 years of peace.

During this same time, I had been praying like this, “Lord, you have taught me a lot about hearing Your voice, but I know little about seeing your face.  Please teach me what it means to see your face.   Like Job at the end, when he said, ‘my ears had heard of You but now my eyes have seen you.' (Job 42:5) Lord I want to see you.”  And the Lord brought into my path a painting of Jesus done by a 9 year old little girl with an Atheist mother, after Jesus had appeared to her in a vision.  You can see the painting at www.akiane.com -- when you enter the site, click the first video link on the top left over the painting of the African American woman.  I saw such a deep love and compassion and understanding and acceptance in those eyes of Jesus for me.  And I have been asking Him, ‘Lord Jesus, can you put that love, Your love, in my eyes, for my children and for my husband.’  And the prayer is spreading.  I am beginning to ask, especially when I am about to spend time with someone I dislike, “Lord, can you please put Your love in my eyes and heart for this person.”  And my eyes are being opened to countless verses that speak to me of this same theme:  Love in the eyes.

·      The eyes of the Lord see the children of men (Ps 11:4)

·   My [the Lord’s] eyes and my heart shall be there for all time (II Chron 7:16)

·  The looked unto Him and were radiant (Ps 34:5)

·  And [we all] found favor in the eyes of the Lord (Gen 6:8)

A Biological Child's Perspective on Adoption: Rachel

We wanted to share some of the stories of adoption from the point of view of the children, both biological and adopted. It has been fascinating and faith-building to hear them tell their own stories of life from their perspective. The fourth in this series is from our precious Rachel, who is a junior in college and an wonderful young woman.


Rachel's Story:
...the potential to redeem and restore broken lives...

I thought a lot about how I wanted to start this blog post. Should I begin with the first time my parents brought up the idea of adoption? Should I begin with when I first met Kristina and Pasha, the first of four adoptions? Or should I go further back, and begin with life before the adoptions? I could write a book on this experience, on adoption and how it has affected my life, and my family's life, but what I really want to emphasize is that adoption has not only dramatically changed me, but has come to define my life and my view of the world around me. As many of you surely know, melding individuals who previously knew nothing of each other into the most intimate of relationships - a family - is a weighty venture that has the potential to redeem and restore broken lives, for both those who are adopted and the family into which they are adopted.

I had one very specific request...

Rachel (center) enjoys a tea party with her
Daddy and two sisters.

I have a very vivid memory of my parents sitting me and my two sisters, Emma and Julia, down at our round kitchen table, and calmly asking us what we thought of bringing two children from Russia into our family and our lives. I must have been around eight, and while the talk of this far away land of Russia and potential new friends and siblings was exciting, I had one very specific request: I did NOT want a sibling older than me. As the middle child, I felt very protective of my spot in the order, and didn't want to deal with yet another older sibling (as much as I loved Emma, I often suffered from the common bossy older sibling syndrome when we were young). After I had told my parents this sole request, I jumped headfirst into the exciting yet unknown idea of adoption. I remember putting a world map up on my wall, looking at the different countries and focusing especially on Russia. That simple kitchen-table talk stretched the comfortable boundaries of my world to include the unknown and exciting world stretched out on my wall.

"Rachel, Mommy wants to talk to you."

For almost two years I waited for my new siblings. I imagined what they would look like, what their names would be, whether they would speak English, what kinds of movies and games they liked. Finally, one year after that kitchen table conversation we got a call from my mom who was in Russia with a friend, Susan Hillis, visiting orphanages and had just met two orphans who just might be our siblings - a brother and sister named Kristina and Pasha. My dad talked excitedly on the phone with her as my sisters and I stood by, and then he looked at me and said, "Rachel, mommy wants to talk to you." I stepped up and nervously took the phone in my hands as my mom said from millions of miles away "Rachel, I know you didn't want an older sibling, but Kristina is two weeks older than you. Would you be willing to set that aside and welcome her into the family?" When I think back on that moment, I just want to laugh at how futile our plans for our lives stand in the face of God's awesome vision for us. Kristina was older than me by TWO WEEKS, shattering my plans but in the end giving me a best friend with whom I have shared homework and friends, experiences and fights, emotions and secrets. I am so thankful that God wasn't limited by my narrow vision and fears.

Rachel (center) embraces Kristina as we pose in the orphanage
for our first photo as a family of 7.

Kristina embraces Rachel at the beach

The adoptions have shaped my life completely

Rachel (in red shirt) welcoming Andrei and Sergei
home at the Atlanta airport.

Two years later we adopted Andrei and Sergei (as many of you might already know from reading my other siblings' accounts, we met Andrei and Sergei the same day we met Kristina and Pasha, and prayed for them every day for two years until God pretty much said "enough already, why don't you adopt them?" And we did.). As I said before, the adoptions have changed and shaped my life completely. When I meet new people I talk about adoption; when I wrote my college application essays I wrote about adoption; when I picked my major I thought about adoption; when I show friends family photos I talk about adoption. I say all this to show that adoption doesn't just change those who are brought into your family - it changes you to the core. It expands you, challenges you, and fills you up until it overflows into every area of your life.

God bridged the gap between each of my family members

All 7 children, Rachel on the right,
hugging Andrei.

People ask me a lot of questions about my family. Do you feel more loved than your adopted siblings? Who are you closest with? Did you feel neglected by your parents? I can honestly say that my family is one unified unit, not separated into the "biologicals" and the "adopted"; I can also say that I NEVER once felt neglected by my parents, or that the adoptions caused them to not care as much about me. When I respond this way I almost always get a surprised look at the least, a doubtful "Really?" at the most. At first I was both shocked and offended at people's disbelief, but then I thought it over. Maybe the human heart is not infinite, and from an outsider's perspective, stretching it to not only accept but incorporate 4 strangers into your family seems almost impossible to do fully. But what I know for certain is that God's love is infinite, his heart is universal, and his vision is endless. God bridged the gap between each of my family members, connecting us with threads of supernatural love that cannot be broken and that pulled and shaped us into a wholly unconventional and wholly beautiful family. Yes it's hard, and there were bumps and bruises on all sides, from having to share my friends with Kristina to getting used to having smelly, loud boys in the house (who were also handsome and wonderful of course). And yes my family doesn't look like many peoples'. But thank God that he is strong enough to heal the broken parts in all of us, and to not be constricted by terms like "normal families". I love my family, and I love God for bringing it together in such a powerful and beautiful way. 

BE TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND

Greg Haswell, pastor of  Northlands Church in Atlanta, Georgia, shares a powerful truth to adoptive and foster parents as we partner with God to transform orphans into sons and daughters. You will hear more from Greg at HOPE AT HOME 2011, September 23-24 in Atlanta, Ga. Register now!

MIND MANACLES AND INNER VOICES

I heard a story of a zoo that sought to free one of the eagles that had been brought to them injured some years earlier. When released from its cage, the bird merely sat huddled up on the wind-swept mountainside without unfurling her wings to the breeze  plucking at her feathers.  Months of cage dwelling had created a cage in her mind as strong as the bars of iron that had imprisoned her.  Despite the call of her nature, the desire of the keepers and her innate ability to fly away, she remained a captive bird till her death.   The cage had taken root in her mind. Similarly it seems that so much of human behavior is determined by mental boundaries rather than actual ability. There are examples of ‘mind manacles’ all around us; the gifted musician too shy to play in public, the skillful writer inactive and persuaded that no one will read their book, the innovative church member while unwilling to step forward is desperate for someone to recognize their as yet undisplayed potential, the orphan convinced that they are unloved and unlovable, the child with scolding and contempt still ringing in their ears drowning out encouragement and praise. People from all walks of life are held prisoner to lies that bind. Even when peoples circumstances change, their inner voices keep them constrained in old realities. 

A DECISION TO BELIEVE

The answer to this malady is to change the way we think. This is not just a choice to think differently, rather it is a decision to believe what God says is true. His truth, fully embraced, will deliver us from these bondages. This is because the things that we believe have great power to affect our lives. Here is a secret, we choose what we believe. We know we have an enemy who would love the right to define us. His desire is to steal, kill, damage and destroy our lives, and his words offered to us as “truth” will only diminish us. Jesus’ truth in turn, delivers us from fears, establishes us in God’s love, and brings lasting freedom. We choose whose voice we answer to. People who embrace Jesus’ words live in truth, peace, and blessing. 

TAKE A NEW MIND

Understanding this motivates us to be careful to hear, believe and declare God’s truth over our lives. In fact, for broken and bound people, this should be a top priority. The biblical teaching we expose ourselves and our families to is of great importance  Jesus calls us all to repentance, which in the original language, literally means that we “take a new mind” on the subject or that we “rethink it”. This kind of repentance means that whenever a thought, a feeling, or a perception is not in line with God’s nature or truth, we must resist it. We need to declare the lie to be a lie and embrace the freedom of God’s   truth. Often, this heightened focus is needed to pinpoint the lies that surreptitiously form the bars of our mental cages. We must seek out Truth, repenting (re-thinking) and conforming our minds to His words. 

GOD HAS PLANNED AN EXTRAORDINARY FUTURE

Next, we must learn to deliberately declare that truth about ourselves and others. This will probably need constant repetition for it to sink in. Amazing fruit is produced when people in bondage start to declare and believe clear Biblical truths like; “I am a much loved child of my heavenly Father!” or “God dreams great dreams for me!” or “I have a valuable and unique contribution to make!” What freedom there is when orphans understand that God loved them that much, that He stirred someone’s heart to the extent that they sacrificed a great deal to secure a better future for them. So much changes when they realize that God’s dream for them is to know family life and love, and that He has planned an extraordinary future for them with a built in cheering section.

GOD'S UNENDING AND AVAILABLE LOVE

The desire to be loved, completely and relentlessly, is a deep need of the human heart. We all earnestly seek love, our eyes restlessly searching for any hint of it in people around us. Our hope in God’s love is no different. Can it be true that we are invited to experience His love, with its depth, height, and width beyond comprehension? Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. His love never fails; it is unending and is available to all who ask. However, in ministry I have met many Christians whose “mind manacles’ keep them from experiencing His great love even though He urges us to cry out with intimacy “Daddy, Father!” Similarly, I have seen orphans surrounded by love and care, continue to feel unloved because they remain in mental bondage. Many adopted children remain broken and unwanted in their own thinking for years.

WHO OR WHAT WE ALLOW TO DEFINE US

It’s time for us to decide who we will allow to define us. We will all either be defined by the enemy, our experiences, our past, our feelings and the perceptions of others, or by what Jesus says to us. Surely the One who created us and then redeemed us by paying for all our sin, shame, brokenness and poverty, has the greatest right to define us. The decision to agree and co-operate with Him in the destruction of the manacles of our minds is ours to make. There is a giant of a God in us who dreams great dreams for us, and it’s our job to believe in His words above all others. I hope that when its your turn to spread your wings, the cages that might have been in your mind, no longer exist.

Romans 12: 1
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed (transfigured, metamorphasized) by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.


How have you been able to help your child break free of the mind manacles of the orphan spirit? Share your victories with us!

A Biological Child's Perspective on Adoption: Emma

We wanted to share some of the stories of adoption from the point of view of the children, both biological and adopted. It has been fascinating and faith-building to hear them tell their own stories of life from their perspective. The third in this series is from our eldest, Emma, who is a lovely and amazing young woman soon to graduate from college.




Emma's Story
I could not wait to travel to Russia

Emma, Rachel and Julia
before adoptions

When my parents first talked to my sisters and me about adopting, it came out of nowhere. As a 12 year old I had never even thought about adoption, positively or negatively, in my entire life. But as soon as I took a moment to consider the possibility, I was ecstatic about opening our family to two new members. I also could not wait to travel to Russia and learn the language and culture. Of course there were many cultural differences; I remember ordering spaghetti with marinara sauce at a restaurant and getting a plate of pasta with a gravy boat full of ketchup next to it. 

Andrei, Emma and Sergei in the
children's home

The driver asked if we could pick up a little boy                                                               One of my favorite memories of going to Russia for the first time was meeting my future brothers, Andrei and Sergei. On our way to the orphanage to meet Kristina and Pasha, our driver asked if we could stop at a foster home to pick up a little boy who was being sent to the orphanage to be with his older brother. Though we were distraught at the idea of taking two children away from the orphanage only to bring another, we of course said yes. This little boy was my brother Sergei. When we arrived and were ushered into a small room with tea and cookies, Andrei was already there, waiting to see his brother. As soon as they laid eyes on each other, I could feel the joy and relief they felt. For the remainder of our visit, they did not stop hugging or smiling.

And then they were 5

Retaining some stability was important to me                                                                        Once we all returned home, I started to get to know my new siblings better. Pasha and I watched The Lion King together over and over, always returning to the stampede, his favorite scene. He would sprint around our house on all fours like a lion until he broke his leg after falling off his bike. Then he just ran around on three legs, with his broken cast lifted in the air. Kristina and I shared a room and bonded over her incredibly loud and annoying gerbil named Mary. No matter how many times she woke us up scratching at her cage during the night, Mary remained a permanent fixture in our room. Of course there were hard times, but within weeks I couldn't imagine sitting around our kitchen table for dinner without Kristina and Pasha, and eventually Andrei and Sergei as well. I found it very easy to adjust to my new life; I was and still am the oldest child, and my only concern about adoption was that I would have to give that up. I'm sure I would've grown to love an older sibling as well, but retaining some stability (and the ability to boss people around) was important to me.

Emma and our friend Nicole with
some new Russian
friends.

Seeing the world from a different perspective

Our group in Russia,
2006

Through our adoption, I have grown so much spiritually and intellectually. I am a Political Science major at college now, focusing on international politics, and growing up aware and involved in the world outside my bubble played a huge part in that decision. I think I have become a much more well-rounded and aware person because of traveling to Russia, meeting and getting know people I never would have known, and seeing the world from completely different perspectives than my own.

Emma (standing) with others from
our team ministering in the
orphanage.

 The Amazing Love of Christ
However, seeing the transformation of our kids prompted even greater spiritual growth inside of me. A picture is worth a thousand words as the old cliche says, and one of the most moving pictures I have ever seen is my sister Kristina's first passport picture.

Our Kristina's passport
photo

 She and my parents went to some sort of embassy in Moscow to obtain her Russian passport so she could travel to the US with us and become a part of our family. That picture shows a girl with haunted, empty eyes and a blank expression. She looks so lost and hollow. But through the love of my parents, my siblings, and most of all the Lord she came to know so well, Kristina's smile has become one of the largest and brightest I have ever seen. She laughs with her entire body, and her eyes sparkle with the knowledge that Jesus loves her and has adopted her into his family forever. Her transformation is the clearest picture of the amazing love of Christ I have ever seen, and I am so happy to have been there to see it happen.

Kristina's senior portrait

A Biological Child's Perspetcive on Adoption: Julia (Part 2)

Julia's Story, Part 2

Here is the second part of Julia's Story. Read Part 1 HERE. So beautiful to hear what God does in the hearts of those involved in adoption!

Little did we know....

Andrei and Sergei reunited in the
orphanage.

When we were in that room, the director also brought in two brothers who had just been reunited in the orphanage. They were so happy to see each other and were hugging and holding each other. She introduced them as Andrei and Sergei. Little did we know at that time that they too would join our family just 18 months later! After our visit to the orphanage we had to go to court to legally adopt. I was too young to actually attend so my sisters and I waited in the car while my mom and dad and Kristina and Pasha went in. I remember sitting there playing on a game boy and talking to my sisters and grandparents, totally oblivious of the significant event going on inside that court building. After we went to court and had legally adopted, we flew to Moscow. I remember that first night we went to the pool in the hotel and had a wonderful time; everything was so new and exciting at that point. Finally it was time to go home. After the long flights and layovers and countless hours of being awake we finally reached home. We showed Kristina and Pasha their rooms, all made up with toys and signs and pictures from people that already loved them, even though they had never met.   

Things were pretty good, however...

The new siblings in the hotel pool in
Moscow after the first adoption.

The first couple weeks after we adopted were full of emotions for me. Kristina and I had already become best friends, playing with dolls and speaking in a combination of broken Russian and broken English. We really hit it off and I finally had someone who enjoyed dolls as much as I did. We all took family outings and did things together. I learned to communicate in some form of Russian, and they were steadily learning more and more English. Things were pretty good, however not all the time. I remember some times crying and thinking that my life wouldn’t be the same. I remember thinking that my parents wouldn’t love me as much now that they were giving all of their attention to my new siblings. There were times when I was completely happy with my situation, having more people to play with and new family, but there were also times that I was sad and felt like I wasn’t important. Those first couple of months were full of wonderful and tough times and emotions, but eventually all of those emotions steadied into happiness and acceptance.

                                                                          

I can't imagine my family any different way

Julia and Kristina became best buddies.

Now, looking back, I can’t really remember what it was like without my adopted siblings. I don’t think I would want to go back to that time because I can’t imagine my family any different way. To me, my sister and brothers from Russia are my siblings, sure they were adopted and weren’t always a part of our family, but now they are. I sometimes forget that they were adopted and that my life used to be so different. I think that I was at a perfect age to accept and move into my new family. Today I see my siblings as truly part of the family and I can’t imagine my life without them. We truly are one big family, no division and no differences, just one family.     

Arriving home in Atlanta--exhausted but happy!

I grew to know God as a wonderful, loving Father

My family life was not the only thing changed by the adoption, but my spiritual life and relationship with Christ evolved too. I was only eight when we first adopted, so at that point I had already accepted the Lord as my Savior and had given him my life. But I didn’t have a relationship with him, or at least not like I do now. While the adoption didn’t magically change my relationship with God or make God closer, it did give me a better understanding of him and his love for us. I grew to know God as a wonderful loving father who not only gives us his love but he adopts us into his family and gives us his inheritance, just as my family adopted our earthly family members. The adoption definitely helped me nurture and develop a lasting relationship with God that would continue to grow in understanding and love as I got older. My growth and closeness to my heavenly father has definitely been affected by our adoption and the impact it had on my family and those around us.