Monday, May 13, 2013


Sometimes it boils down to this, the simplicity of being available. Not being perfect, not being right, not being successful-- just being there where the action of your child's life is. In the end, what every child wants is the connection. Indeed, it is what every one of us wants, isn't it?! We want to know we are not alone--that someone is with us and for us, that someone hears us. And I think that right there is a huge part of successful parenting. I think of it as the ministry of availability. Just being there. 
So I want to encourage you, fellow parent, dear mothers and fathers, that even in the worst of our parenting scenarios, if we can do the work of simply being there, walking alongside our child and hearing them, then we are giving the most healing gift of all. We put a lot of emphasis on "doing it right" with adoptive and foster parenting, and for that I am thankful. I think it is absolutely appropriate for us to learn how to parent effectively! However, I also know that there is simply no way for us to get it right all the time. And I also know that in the end, our children need to know that they are safe and loved-- and that takes us being available to them. Simply draw close and BE. LISTEN. 

So next time you don't know what to do to move forward with your child (or when you have totally blown it!), take heart and draw close once again. Put having the right adoptive parenting answer on the back burner, for it will come-- The Lord is faithful and will lead you as He has promised-- and just make yourself available. Give the gift of time. Children do not distinguish between quality and quantity time; they just know you are there or not. 
So, share a coke, tickle a back, play a video game, throw a ball, push on the swing, watch a movie, read a book........ Just Be There. 

Father God, we have set our hearts on this Ministry of Availability. Would You help us to "be there" for each of our children? Cause our children to receive this ministry of our love, imperfect and incomplete, and breathe on it so that it becomes a healing force in each child's life. 

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