Monday, September 9, 2013


Scott, from Journey to Surrender, shares for our Marriage Monday. Take a few moments to ready this fellow parents, letting the truths shared strengthen our marriages. 

To hear more from Scott, and his wife Jenni, join us at Hope at Home 2013. They will be leading a breakout on marriage that you won't want to miss. Register Today!

No, of course I'm not talking about the actual weather conditions outside. I'm talking about changing the climate in your marriage.

Few of us realize how the things we say and do (or don't say and don't do) affect the atmosphere of our marriages and homes. Too frequently we settle for whatever happens to just blow in. 

It's time to get unstuck from the current weather patterns!

The amazing thing is that it actually isn't that difficult to change the weather when it comes to your marriage. I think we sometimes think it takes a herculean effort and so we don't see the point in trying. The truth is, you can greatly impact the atmosphere of your relationship simply by doing little things that don't require much effort

Clear Away the Fog

It's easy to let the cares of daily life settle like a fog over your marriage. By simply being attentive and making a point of having a few small positive interactions each day, you can help lift that fog:

  • Tell your spouse you are thankful to be married to him or her, and give a specific reason.
  • Offer words of appreciation for something specific he or she did. It doesn't need to be a monumental thing either.
  • Make eye contact and hold their gaze while you smile. When it prompts a "What?" in return, just say "I'm so in love with you."
  • Slip a note into your spouse's lunch that just says "You are God's favorite. Mine too!"

Rain Down a Little Kindness and Consideration

Small, thoughtful actions, done on a consistent basis, do more to change the climate of your marriage than do grand demonstrations that happen infrequently: 
  • Make your spouse coffee or tea in the morning, just the way they like it
  • Put on his or her favorite scent.
  • Stop off at a bakery and buy him or her a little treat 
  • Wear something you know your spouse appreciates. 

Create Your Own Heat Wave 

Believe it or not, it’s not that difficult to put a little sizzle back into your marriage: 
  • Get your flirt on. Few couples realize the value of continuing to flirt long after you are married. Send a few flirtatious text messages. 
  • Kiss. A lot. Kissing is such an easy way to maintain a physically intimate connection. I recently wrote a post called "10 Ways to Change Up Your Kissing Routine"
  • Physical touch releases oxytocin, a hormone that promotes emotional connection. Non-sexual touch counts too! Hold hands. Hug. Snuggle. 
  • Initiate a night of intimacy. It doesn't have to be a big production. Just taking the initiative conveys to your spouse that they are desired.

Lower the Atmospheric Pressure

Stress can really put a stranglehold on the intimacy in your marriage like little else can. You won't always be in a position to help relieve your spouses stress level, especially if you are struggling yourself. Here again, little things can make a big difference.
  • Text your spouse and ask him or her how you can pray for them today. Then do it.
  • Offer a short foot, neck or back massage before bed to help your spouse unwind and rest better.
  • Do a small chore or errand that your spouse usually does. Don't ask or tell them, just let them discover it on their own.
  • Put together a "de-stress" play list that he or she can use to relax. 
The little things listed above can add up to a significant shift in climate. Don't believe me? I challenge you to spend one week doing several of these little things every day and see what happens. I can almost guarantee a positive shift in the atmosphere. 

Do you have some other weather-changers to offer? Leave a comment below

1 comment:

  1. I love the idea of, "Creating your own heat wave!" -- well said Scott!