An Adopted Child's Perspective on Adoption: Ksusha

From Susan Hillis:
Part I:  Here is the story that our effervescent Ksusha wrote about what being adopted was like for her, about her early roots and the memories she has before being adopted. This part ends with the story of coming home to our large family, a family being restored after she had lost her first family.  I would call this the 'I am adopted' part of the story.  Symbolically, I think of it as the "I leave Egypt" part of her story. 
Ksusha is in 10th grade. This first part of her story was written when she was 12 years old, five years after she was brought home.


Healing: A Hard Beginning And A Wonderful End
 
I am going to tell you a little about my life. I was born in Russia.  I had 3 sisters and one brother.  Before my mom had me, my brother Alex and my sister Anya got taken away and put in an orphanage, and I had 2 sisters left, Sveta, who was one year old and Masha, who was 4 at the time.  When I was born, Masha was like a mom to me.  She took good care of me when my mom and dad were drunk.

Ksusha's Russian birth parents

When I was 4 years old, there was a knock at the door.  One of my parents went to answer it.  When I saw it was a police, I got scared and ran and hid under my crib, but that sure wasn’t a good hiding place because they saw me and were trying to take me away.  I tried to hold on, but it didn’t work.  They picked me up and took me to the car.  Even though I was 4, I could still understand what was happening.  I screamed, cried, and tried to get out, but it didn’t work.  A couple minutes later my 2 big sisters joined me.  I was happy to see them, but I could see my dad and mom crying.  They didn’t want us to go because they already lost 2 kids and now, 3 more.


 When I got to the orphanage with my 2 sisters, we were taken to different rooms.  We were together for about one year in that orphanage when one of my sisters, Sveta got taken away to another orphanage.  So me and Masha, who still was like a mom to me, were still together.  When I was 5, we got a letter saying that my dad had died.  It was heartbreaking to both of us.

Ksusha (left) with sisters Sveta and Masha

Later on that year, I started to ride the bus with some older friends to take piano lessons.  I would do that once a week.


Two years later I was about to get ready to go to piano lessons when my boss told me that I wouldn’t be going to piano lessons today because somebody is coming to see me and Masha.  It was very shocking, but I did stay and put on a beautiful purple dress.  But the lady never came.  The people that worked at my orphanage said that the lady would not come until the next day, because she went to visit Sveta and that is why she didn’t come.

Ksusha (center), with Sveta and Alex, runs from the orphanage
into her parents' arms

So the next day came, and this lady came.  She came with her husband and a little boy.  She said that Sveta wanted her to tell us that she misses us and that she is going to see us soon.  We were to happy to hear that.  And you wouldn’t believe what she told us next.  She told us she was the mom of Alex and Anya.  Masha couldn’t stop smiling and then my brother Alex, who I had never met and who Masha had not seen for 11 years, walked in.  It was the happiest day ever.  The lady whose name was Susan Hillis, with her husband Brian, adopted us on September 11, 2001.  When we got to America we saw our new beautiful family.  And guess what?  We had more brothers and sisters!  I had 4 brothers, Trevor, Sasha, Vasya, and of course Alex, and 5 sisters, 3 that were from my Russian family, Anya, Sveta and Masha, and also one more from Russia.  Her name is Katya and she was Anya’s best friend in Russia, and my parents had one more daughter, Cristi, so now in all my parents had 10 kids.  It is just amazing what God can do.  I had a hard beginning but a wonderful end.


 Part II:  Just last week Ksusha wrote a poem about who she is now, 10 years after being adopted.  I call this the "I am an American girl, I am a believer, and I am a daughter" part of the story.  Symbolically, I think of it as "I am beginning to walk towards the Promised Land the Lord has for me."  

I am from a small town near St. Petersburg, Russia

I am from a family of 12

Cristi, sasha, masha, katya, anya, alex, sveta, vasya,

Trevor, me, and my mom and dad

I am from the country

My favorite songs are

“remind me,” “Country Girl (Shake it from me)”

And “crazy girl”

I am from dirt bikes and four wheelers

Horses and trucks

I am from Jesus Christ

My favorite verse is jeremiah 29:11

I am from my mama’s cookin’

Mashed potatoes and country ham

I am from a loving family

Who always understands.

Ksusha, in her daddy's arms, then and now.

The Hillis family.